Years ago, I worked for a company that developed games for
various personal computers and consoles, as well as arcade games. They
contracted with the major distributors like Atari and EA. Some of the
distributors wrote language into the contract that the payments to the developer
would be suspended if any extra functionality were added to a game such as
Easter Eggs. I was told several times by a Vice President of IT that I was to
remove the “Arming the photon torpedoes” message from the boot sequence of
one of the UNIX servers, because that was “unprofessional”. The guy was full
of himself for being technology savvy. However, it was all with MS-DOS. He had
no idea how I added the message, and I think it frustrated him. I noticed it was
still there a couple of years after I had moved out of the system administration
job. I still have a script that gets run on a daily basis that has a slightly
updated wording "Arming the quantum torpedoes".
The point of this is that I think developers still sneakvarious personal computers and consoles, as well as arcade games. They
contracted with the major distributors like Atari and EA. Some of the
distributors wrote language into the contract that the payments to the developer
would be suspended if any extra functionality were added to a game such as
Easter Eggs. I was told several times by a Vice President of IT that I was to
remove the “Arming the photon torpedoes” message from the boot sequence of
one of the UNIX servers, because that was “unprofessional”. The guy was full
of himself for being technology savvy. However, it was all with MS-DOS. He had
no idea how I added the message, and I think it frustrated him. I noticed it was
still there a couple of years after I had moved out of the system administration
job. I still have a script that gets run on a daily basis that has a slightly
updated wording "Arming the quantum torpedoes".
things in. I got a warning today from Visual Studio .NET after added a module to
a project:
Basically, I am replacing the old module with a newer one.
The wording that caught my eye was “assume the identity”. My first reaction
to it was "What, the credit card numbers and everything?" What if a
similar message was in Windows Explorer? "The file foo.txt already exists
in C:\TEMP. Clicking Yes will allow the new file
to assume the identity of foo.txt in C:\TEMP." That would have a few users
panic. Better yet, transfer the developer to the Office software division. Then
Mr. PaperClip can have options like
"You are about to save bar.doc. This already exists in
the same location. Do you want to?
Continue. The item will automatically assume the identity of the existing item.
Move the item to a new location. You will need to visit your local Post Office
to fill out the appropriate change of address forms.
Allow the new item to create several false identities.
Inform the proper authorities of the identity theft. A Witness Relocation form
will be filled out for you."
The beauty of these is that they are not mutually
exclusive. One or all can be selected.
Humor in the workplace is important, I think. Too many
people get wrapped up in the pressure, and crack. I use sci-fi phases in
response to common questions to help.
"I find your lack of faith disturbing." This is
in response to someone asking me if I will have something ready by a deadline,
usually because a exec is worried. I have an MP3 of it because the doing the
raspy breathing with the deep James Earl Jones voice is really hard.
"You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."
Standard response to a reorg and acquisition notice.
"H'jol! nadev valyinbe'" This is reserved for when I find something I did and I should know better. The fact that it is Klingon always gets someones attention. (The translation is: "Beam me up! There is no intelligent life here.")
"These are not the driods you are looking for."
Accompanied by a slight wave of a hand. When someone comes looking for someone else who is obviously not at their desk.
"In-CON-ceivable!" For the blatantly obvious comment.
"When 900 years old you reach, look this good, you will not." When someone realizes how long I have been with the company.
"Humor. It is a difficult concept. It is not logical." For those worn out office jokes.
Feel free to use them. A word of caution, you may be perceived
as not caring about your work. I've been there long enough that most people know this is not true.
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