I found these on a Monster blog. Their source is a podcast, so I can't exactly credit it. I'd love to use them at least once for my out of office auto replies.
* I am currently out a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
* You're receiving this automatic notification, because I'm out of the office. If I were in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
* I will be unable to delete all the unread worthless emails you sent me until I return from holiday on the 4th of April. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
* Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $4 for the first 10 words and $1.95 for each additional word in your message.
* Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. Your email is important to me, and you're currently in 352nd place. You can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
End of Entry